I APOLOGIZE

BY: Mitch Beck

Folks, I have always tried to do my best with Howlings to give readers something special on this site. I always look to do provide you information you can’t get anywhere else while at the same time remaining to be positive towards the Rangers, the Wolf Pack and now the Whale. As you undoubtedly know by now, I don’t knock people or the organization. It’s just not the way that I do things. While I do tell the truth at all times, I don’t do it to score points or to try and make a name for myself. I do this as an expression of my passion for the entire organization. As a result the Rangers have been very supportive, exceptionally patient and more than just a little accommodating to me on just about everything when they have little to no reason to be.

For me, this has been quite an effort making the adjustment from having spent my entire career as a comedian and radio personality. It’s been tough to switch things up and write and behave as a professional journalist when my instincts are reacting otherwise. I would like to think that over the years I’ve grown quite a bit and that I conduct myself in the same manner as those who do this for a living. I admit there have been more than a few bumps along the way during this learning process, but the organization has continued to allow me to grow in this role and that has meant the world to me.

Over that first few years of doing this, I have built up enough trust first with the Wolf Pack/Whale and then with the Rangers themselves to trust enough in me to to become a credentialed reporter, first for a few games up and they increased it each year until allowing me a full credential last season. Over the past few years I have traveled both near and far (at my own expense) and been granted access even on road games. I’ve been more than just a little bit grateful because its really helped me in making this site something special for the fans while at the same time its been both fun and a learning experience. I’ve also developed some terrific relationships with the executives both in Hartford as well as in New York. I’ve become friendly with the players and the coaches themselves. The fan that still resides in my heart has just been loving it. But I’m proud that the feedback from one and all has always been great and again, I’m having the time of my life.

Friday night I really screwed up and screwed up badly. I received an email from someone who I have complete trust in and who has always been a reliable source in the past. Well, they told me something and because I have absolute confidence in them, I immediately posted it on Twitter. Little did I know that person was just joking about what they’d written to me, but by the time I found that out, it was too already late.

I should have known better. Regardless of the email and who the source of it was, I still should have double-checked before putting it out there. If this email had come from anyone else, you can bet your bottom dollar that I would have done that, but that does not exonerate me and there is no excuse. The second I found out the report was wrong, I immediately went online, took full responsibility for the report’s inaccuracy and stated categorically that my information was wrong. But again, it was too late. In our information age, within seconds that report buzzed around the world and back and as a result, while no “real” harm was done or was intended, I’d still violated a sacred trust that the the organization had put in me; I violated the confidence you, my readers have in me and that resulted in giving the team needless and unnecessary aggravation.

I have always tried to teach my kids to “man-up;” to be honest when they do something wrong; not to make excuses or blame others for their mistakes but own up to them, and that is what I am doing here. Regardless of where or who the information came from, it was my responsibility to verify it first. I should have known better and didn’t. I made a fool of myself with the wrong information and for that, I am VERY sorry.

My actions caused completely unnecessary aggravation for the very people who have given me this great trust as well as such openness to the entire organization. I know that they are 100% within their rights to be upset with me. But know this, as upset with me as they are, it pales to how upset I am with myself. Frankly, I am incredibly embarrassed and extremely disappointed. I just cannot find the right words for it. I knew better and failed. I want it known that a) I understand their anger and disappointment in me and wholeheartedly agree with it and b) I am truly sorry for my mistake and feel completely humiliated.

It’s just my nature to step back when someone I care about is upset with me. I don’t know if I could go back to the XL Center and look Ken Gernander, who’d been beyond supportive of me these last few years, his players or any of these people who’ve stuck their necks out for me in the eyes anymore. If I did, I know that I’d be seeing my own personal condemnation staring me in the face and for those other people working at making a living through the team, that I let down and caused aggravation, even if it was for just a couple of hours, it’s a couple of hours too many. How can I look at them too?

So anyway, I have some very serious soul searching to do. But the bottom line is that I just want to send my deepest and most heartfelt apologies from the very core of my being first to Wade Redden, Ken Gernander and Bob Crawford. Also to John Rosasco, Mark Willand and especially Jim Schoenfeld, Glen Sather and H0ward Baldwin.

I know that I’ve let you down and disappointed you and I’m truly sorry. I hope you’ll see in your heart to forgive me…as well as you, my loyal readers.